Archives for posts with tag: rebirth

i’ve been thinking a lot today about how we humans have a funny way of dealing with unbalanced fears & anxieties. we tend to go through this internal dialogue over them that often sabotages our happiness more than it propels us into action that could have truly positive results. it’s a great way to stay exactly where you are.

this morning on “the farm” i was sitting pleasantly with my coffee and watching my daughter ride her bike around in the yard. her shriek snapped me out of a meditation & interrupted the flow of a conversation i was having. there was a snake, a big one!

snakes are actually very peaceful beings for the most part. they typically have no desire to hurt humans and their behavior is rarely aggressive. and yet i have to admit i’m still kind of intimidated by them. so at first i was leery of getting too close. but as we stood there and watched it for awhile i started to appreciate how beautiful it really was and my fear of it slowly dissipated. i think it felt the same way because after a few minutes it just gracefully continued on its path towards a pine tree then slowly up the tree until it stretched out and rested on a low branch. at that point i walked right up beside it and talked to it for a while. (mhmm, yep, i talk to animals. if you don’t you should try it sometime. if nothing else it will probably make you laugh.) that tree is its home during the day.

it wasn’t the first time i’ve seen the snake. a few days ago it was farther down the lane warming itself on the asphalt. i was much more afraid of it then, deliberately going out of my way to stay far away from it and i even grabbed a stick to defend myself lest it jump up & strike me. :ROFL:

but really it’s not that funny at all. our fears that have more basis in potentiality than reality often make us do crazy things like that and give us great emotional turmoil. i’m glad that today when the snake presented itself i was able to hear its true message, which was nothing to fear at all.

snakes are powerful & beautiful creatures that have a transformative life cycle, similar in some ways to the butterfly [and humans]. they don’t hold onto things that weigh them down, they shed them and emerge renewed & sleeker. they are also very balanced, active & cunning in moonlight and peaceful & restorative in sunlight. they perceive life through an uncommon lens and they know how to use all their senses to understand their surroundings on a more comprehensive, balanced level. in their own unique way snakes are very loving.

it actually doesn’t take a lot of strength to overcome fears & anxieties about things that haven’t even happened yet. it just takes the ability to hear your soul’s voice a little louder than the voice of your own unfounded reasoning & doubt. it takes a wider perspective & less narrow belief system.

our hopes & fears are wound tightly together on a spiritual level. when we encounter opportunities our beliefs usually determine whether we move forward or stay the same. our beliefs can only change by changing our perspective. the perspective we need is out there, all around us. sometimes it’s the snake in a tree – a being of love & beauty. whether we accept it as such, well that’s the choice we each make every day.

“it will take more than an argument…so why keep trying?”

by JTW
©2012 JTW “jtwhitaker.com” All rights reserved.

there are some truths buried so deep inside ourselves that they can only be reached by detonating all of the rock we so meticulously accumulate in hopes of protecting ourselves – when we realize what we thought was a shelter is actually a prison.

i don’t believe anyone has to accept that kind of sentence. but i’ll be the first to admit that the child inside me is content to put bright red-colored curtains over that tiny square barred window & call it my home. truly repressing and totally dismissing memories is an art easily learned as a child. i believe that is where it began and i finally found the proof i had been looking for.

so yes, there are reasons we are who we are that we have absolutely no control over. and that is very scary because the way to deal with them is elusive. we can observe them, we can fight them, we can forget them, we can hide them or we can accept them. we can place them in the forefront and put a sparkly top coat over them for everyone to see. but there is nothing we can do to make it any easier.

i don’t want to be that bitter, angry person that could never find the courage to face the demons left by those that trod on our hearts. i don’t want to keep burning the bridges that propel me forward. going back sometimes isn’t a bad thing. in fact it’s critical if you want to solidify your identity. for humans life seems so linear, but it isn’t at all. it’s organic & we are beautiful, but not without our roots. all the fruit on the tree is dependent on the roots we can’t see, and even what’s beyond that. it has everything to do with our ability to love.

“the harder you look, the more you’ll find…”

an archetype of love & beauty
she came to me
with universal mystery
shaping starry destiny
opening doors & setting free
no treasure map
no lock
no key

time’s true nature is apparent
each snowflake that falls
becomes the ocean
the sky
us
belonging everywhere
able to rest nowhere

you can let it go
you can walk away
you can say goodbye
you can try to deny
what it’s meant to mean

but what if you’re wrong
what if our song
is still that hum in the shower
on bright mornings
sun pouring in
that carries you through the day
and at night when you sleep
is the soundtrack behind your dreams

true
there’s no pretending
a complete cycle has been fulfilled
we were infants
gorging on magical milk
growing fast & tall & a little stronger
till we exhaled into the night
and from on top of the mountain we knew a god

but you see
there is no one victorious in love
and that light above
is not the moon
it’s not the plasticky reflection from pictures in your wallet
it’s not the flash of incoming calls on your cellphone
and it isn’t the glow from the eyes of the one who wakes in your bed
it’s all in your head
and eventually
like every living thing
it’s dead

as with most dead things
the instinct is to burn & bury
call it a day
run far trying to dull the pain
or write it away
and i’ve done that many times, too
i had my reasons
i knew my intentions
but with you it is different
and i believe there is something new
so even if i’m usually too stubborn or foolish to admit it
i do need you

in winter’s cold throws
the last few cinders combust
their glow fades away
the smoke floats off into the sky
an oak tree
once proud & tall
now elemental carbon
seeping down into the earth
ash mixing with dirt
one last gift of the great oak
to what will become
of the acorn it left behind

“maybe you’ve had the best of me, but…”

for k.

by JTW
©2012 JTW “jtwhitaker.com” All rights reserved.

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