Archives for posts with tag: meaning

a few days ago a friend of mine remarked how unusual it is that i frequently cook “gourmet” meals considering i don’t have an oven/range. he called me a minimalist, which i consider quite a compliment. lol (that day i happened to be making a fresh cherries & honey-glazed ham with roasted herb & garlic red-skinned mashed potatoes and OF COURSE GRAVY!!) it’s amazing what you can do with a toaster oven & slow cooker and how awesome stuff you grow yourself tastes.

i love to coexist with the nature on “the farm.” even as i write this post there’s a groundhog not more than 20 feet away from me perched up on his hind legs holding an apple core in his little hands, munching away at it.

we see a lot of groundhogs and they have elaborate tunnel-homes built all around us. when we first moved here we joked about getting a gun to scare them off, cause that’s what you’re supposed to do right? “you can’t have groundhogs wandering around freely destroying stuff?!” lol that’s such a sad attitude.

groundhogs are adorable actually and i’ve never seen them destroy anything. they’re an important part of the ecosystem here and they provide homes for many other small animals that “lease” space in their tunnels. they are vegetarians and love to eat plants, flowers, roots and wild herbs. and even though we have many of them here they’ve never eaten our vegetables or herbs-they’re very respectful neighbors. if we throw something towards their dens, like that apple core the one was just eating, they will graciously accept it, but they won’t bother the plants we have growing by the house for our meals. isn’t that interesting?

groundhogs are one of those unique creatures that hibernate in the winter, like a death without dying or an alternate state of consciousness. in order to thrive and survive they are completely in-tune with powerful natural & metabolic processes. they balance all their resources in preparation for new awareness & awakening. they are very hospitable, masters of being in the ebb & flow of nature and coexisting with others that are different from them. they are keenly aware of boundaries and adept at creating their own.

even a toaster oven & slow cooker would be considered luxuries in many places. the possessions we have and seek are quite relative to the places we’re from, the cultures in which we exist, and what we are willing to work for, what’s important to us.

is any certain lifestyle, from asceticism to luxury, inherently right or wrong? probably not. but is your particular lifestyle the one YOU chose because it makes YOU feel peaceful, happy & fulfilled?

it doesn’t really matter what other people think you need – find that out within yourself and then insist on it.

[and please try not to run over the little furry groundhogs. they’re just people too.]

“never let your fear decide your fate…”

by JTW
©2012 JTW “” All rights reserved.

i should have plenty of muse these days. after all, i reached the holy grail! i chased that thing that i thought i needed and that would define the next chapter of my life. and i caught it. see, isn’t it gorgeous?

okay, now what?

i’ve written at least three “first posts of the new year” and haven’t published them. i haven’t published much of anything lately. probably won’t publish this. ha! and i haven’t been tweeting profound or comical #sixwords. haven’t been reading too many of the blogs i usually follow. i don’t think i’m depressed, just relatively uninspired. apathetic.

also in a way i feel like i’ve already written it. nothing seems new anymore. i think that’s the downside of knowledge & growth sometimes. unless the answers inspire more questions it seems almost pointless to come to any firm conclusions, at least from an artistic standpoint. and so i have to wonder if i’m just missing the new questions. am i ignoring them? have i forgotten how to listen?

submerged in a mire
obsessed, i sought every distraction…

i know expectations have stolen away some of the magic. expectations from others but mostly my own. i miss the anonymity of writing under pseudonym. i miss the fun and tragic necessity. now i find myself questioning the quality and interpretation of everything i write, so instead of posting i’m just putting them in “the vault.” if i even get that far.

so something has to change. i need new revelation. i need to write for me again. and i need to find that voice again. it’s too late to go back to writing anonymously, although that is very tempting. but that seems like a step backwards instead of forward. no, i think i need to continue my journey right here. i put my name on it so that i couldn’t run, and i won’t.

sorry, i don’t really have any optimistic & heartening words to start off 2012 with. i don’t have any beautiful dreams, tragic romance or painful humanity to paint for you today. and i might not for awhile.

i’m just a boy with an old raggedy leather-bound journal & a dull pencil. sometimes when i sit by the river i jot down words that bloom in my mind like mysterious seedlings, swept here by the wind, caught in a barely moist rocky cold place.

i hope it makes them feel pretty to find a home.

“hold on to everything you own that owns you too…”

by JTW
©2012 JTW “” All rights reserved.

%d bloggers like this: