Archives for posts with tag: hope


it’s been a long time since i’ve written about love…
(please listen to the music video below by sina, one of my new faves.)

you’re not who you were in the morning
before you went for one last ride
you’re not who you were in the morning
before he kissed you & said goodbye

you forgot all of the reasons
that took you deep inside
you forgot all of the reasons
when you looked into his eyes

how far could one night take it
will you even have that chance
how far could one night take it
cold rains on evergreen plants

if you say all the words in your heart
and if you hold nothing back
will he call you tomorrow
to check that you’ve packed

when you say all the words in your heart
and if you hold nothing back
if he doesn’t call you tomorrow
was it the sound of his voice that you lacked

you’re not who you were in the morning
before you went for one last ride
you’re not who you were in the morning
before he kissed you & said goodbye

you’re not who you were in the morning
before you went for one last ride
you’re not who you were in the morning
and you didn’t even try
you didn’t even try



by JTW
©2012 JTW “jtwhitaker.com” All rights reserved.

there’s a sort of internal struggle with balance & contrast in a very specific but very large area of my life that has been quite a strain on my most important relationships and my own sense of well-being. sometimes it causes me to act out. sometimes it causes me to send off serious “leave me the hell alone” vibes. other times it’s an addictive obsession.

so for as much as i’ll never let go of certain hermitudinal ways in the interest of self-preservation, i must admit it feels amazing to have more than a couple rooms occupied as of late, extended stay. it may be a bit premature to say, but i always knew this could work, i never lost faith. it’s the future, the next dimension. infinite love repeated all through nature, art & music, you & me, us.

what comes next is the trickier part i suppose. the meshing, the combining. will it blend? will it break? see, it’s not my choice alone. but i do feel stronger and more content, because at least now i know it’s possible. it will happen, someday. settling is definitely not an option.

three, maybe four…who knows, maybe more.

“wait for me, please hang around…”

by JTW
©2012 JTW “jtwhitaker.com” All rights reserved.

i like to sit out on my patio on clear nights and look up at the stars. something in the clarity of their bright luminescence always seems to make me think about the clarity of my own path-past, present & future. somewhere in that contrast between the light & the dark there is a void that i can feel – an expanse of unknowns and alternate possibilities, a place of questions.

in my humble history as a bloggist this is the longest i’ve gone without publishing a new post. my momentum had been slowing for a good six months and at first it bothered me a great deal. i had become accustomed to the nearly manic & constant flow of inspiration of the previous 24 months or so. i had a lot to say, and sometimes i even said it. but then something started to change inside me. all of that time i spent alone, writing and thinking, was like the time a caterpillar spends cocooning in metamorphosis. and when it was over something new emerged, or not something new exactly, for a butterfly is still the same caterpillar, and yet it’s so much more. so i became comfortable with not publishing anything because i was too busy soaring. this was an amazing & beautiful change to the free-fall trajectory i had been in.

in the wake of its transformation a butterfly gets to experience life again from new perspectives, with new adventures, new challenges, and new potential. it felt very much like that to me and i think in order for my story to continue here my environment had to catch up with my inner reconciliations.

one of the most wonderful blessings of what i’ve experienced the past few months is the peace i feel. peace rooted in a kind of universal balance that lets me know everything is okay, everything is perfect. there is wondrous mystery & hope in a starry sky, but each & every star is right where it’s meant to be. so am i, and that’s a huge relief.

so you may be wondering if this new post means my dry-spell is finally over. i guess time will tell. one thing is for sure though: i have a lot more to say. indeed, a lot more needs to be said.

“i’m changin’ everything…”

by JTW
©2012 JTW “jtwhitaker.com” All rights reserved.

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