i go off the grid, hang out my “gone fishing” signs. get in my car, plug in my ipod – i don’t know which one it will be, but i know it will be one of these. (starting to recognize that, plus i have a goal.)
i roll the windows down, open the sunroof. still pink from the weekend but i don’t care, i want to get burnt; red is my favorite color.
stop to get gas. funny, wouldn’t have really needed it; only went a mile. but i did need the water. and i topped off that one tire with the slow leak too.
they say if you’re not sure where to begin then the best thing to do is start at the beginning.
but there are so many versions of ourselves
the ones we see
the ones we let them see
the ones we hope to discover
the ones they hope to uncover
and in all the best versions of them
do you hope to find the real you?
we climbed a mountain. and there was more than one peak, so we bounced from vista to vista. did we admire them long enough?
maybe i said that wrong. or maybe you just didn’t read the preceding lines slowly enough. in any case, there are some passes that are just too thin. and they close behind me anyway.
i climb up the staircase. at the top most of it is shaded but i find the spot with direct sunlight. i stare out to look in between, much like i’ve done many times before.
then i close my eyes and it takes only a few minutes for the calm to wash over. this place hasn’t dried up yet. (though it will.)
i listen and write. towards the end i hear the train coming in the distance. i stand up and start running towards the tracks. i leap over the concrete wall and the fence. i dodge the trees and rush out into the clearing. i wait for the right moment.
then i jump.
the pallet i land on is soft, perfect. and this train will take me to a new mountain. with new vistas.
“well i guess i’m sorry but…”
©2011 JTW “jtwhitaker.com” All rights reserved.