Archives for posts with tag: directions

i should have plenty of muse these days. after all, i reached the holy grail! i chased that thing that i thought i needed and that would define the next chapter of my life. and i caught it. see, isn’t it gorgeous?

okay, now what?

i’ve written at least three “first posts of the new year” and haven’t published them. i haven’t published much of anything lately. probably won’t publish this. ha! and i haven’t been tweeting profound or comical #sixwords. haven’t been reading too many of the blogs i usually follow. i don’t think i’m depressed, just relatively uninspired. apathetic.

also in a way i feel like i’ve already written it. nothing seems new anymore. i think that’s the downside of knowledge & growth sometimes. unless the answers inspire more questions it seems almost pointless to come to any firm conclusions, at least from an artistic standpoint. and so i have to wonder if i’m just missing the new questions. am i ignoring them? have i forgotten how to listen?

submerged in a mire
obsessed, i sought every distraction…

i know expectations have stolen away some of the magic. expectations from others but mostly my own. i miss the anonymity of writing under pseudonym. i miss the fun and tragic necessity. now i find myself questioning the quality and interpretation of everything i write, so instead of posting i’m just putting them in “the vault.” if i even get that far.

so something has to change. i need new revelation. i need to write for me again. and i need to find that voice again. it’s too late to go back to writing anonymously, although that is very tempting. but that seems like a step backwards instead of forward. no, i think i need to continue my journey right here. i put my name on it so that i couldn’t run, and i won’t.

sorry, i don’t really have any optimistic & heartening words to start off 2012 with. i don’t have any beautiful dreams, tragic romance or painful humanity to paint for you today. and i might not for awhile.

i’m just a boy with an old raggedy leather-bound journal & a dull pencil. sometimes when i sit by the river i jot down words that bloom in my mind like mysterious seedlings, swept here by the wind, caught in a barely moist rocky cold place.

i hope it makes them feel pretty to find a home.

“hold on to everything you own that owns you too…”

by JTW
©2012 JTW “jtwhitaker.com” All rights reserved.

i tell her about the days of the week
and she wonders if i’m weak
but what is strength
is it forever

i say it’s forever
for a moment
and if you line them up right
it’s happily ever after

no you’re not useless
and neither were you
or you
but it’s all rubber
there is no glue
so stay by me awhile
if it suits

have fun
in a cautious tone they’ll say
as if there were any choice
for a heart that stretches this way

see my one true love
has always been
something to hold between my fingers
something that doesn’t sate
with just the right weight
such is my fate

but you’re not useless
and neither were you
or you
see it’s all just rubber
there is no glue
so stay by me awhile
and if it suits

“all good dreamers…”

by JTW
©2011 JTW “jtwhitaker.com” All rights reserved.

for “papa.”

in many directions are the paths that we trod
over mountains
through meadows
headfirst into the deep seas of the heart

we meet blizzards
and frosts
and the coldest depths unimaginable
along these journeys we’re called

we touch sparks from the sun
we rest in warm blades of grass
we are refreshed

so fear not dear one
neither wait nor search
for the moments our paths cross
are not of our making
but the way of the road that calls us home

“live your life and leave it…”

by JTW
©2011 JTW “jtwhitaker.com” All rights reserved.

for d1…and the others…

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