Archives for posts with tag: complexities

i should have seen it coming. but they’re the prettiest and all they want to do is get across…

walls crumble around
crash down
you stand transfixed
in the middle of it all

can’t move
maybe want to
maybe not
maybe want to look away
but your eyes don’t close
and your head won’t turn

so you stare
as destruction devours you
to implode with the rest of it

hopefully
somewhere in the ruin that is left
a tiny spec may find water
and that might be just enough
to start it all over again

i’ve spent most of the day trying to squeeze out more than a couple half-hearted drops. i could feel it bubbling somewhere just below the surface…just waiting for enough heat to send it over the edge. but it didn’t come. a few close calls.

a few helpful conversations. honest friends. some commiserators. some people not opposed to a leaning hug. all of us.

there’s a subtlety to love & relationships that we all feel but many don’t know how to articulate and it’s often the catalyst for breakdown – where time & space interfere with the communication between two parties and conclusions are reached prematurely. or maybe not so.

*spoiler alert*

everyone has a baseline. it’s made up of our habits, our emotions, our thinking processes, activities and behaviors. similarly, every relationship also develops a baseline.

sustained deviation from the baseline means something external has triggered something internal that forces change. the change could come in the form of growth or recession.

sure, baselines in people and relationships are organic. nuances shift over time. but it’s when that change is fast, when the growth or destruction is rapid, that it’s most felt above the surface.

and it almost doesn’t matter whether it’s wrong or right, whether the thing you think is valid or not. because it’s your feeling. it’s your intuition. and those are powerful. and they’ll stick. more than that, they’re mystery. and don’t we love a good thriller.

so here we are halfway…here’s my neck, here’s my wrist. the rest is up to you.

“what are you waiting for…take a bite…”

by JTW
©2011 JTW “jtwhitaker.com” All rights reserved.

also my entry this week for #oneshotwednesday @onestoppoetry.

strange how it feels when they get to you, isn’t it? when they reach in and draw out exactly what it is that you don’t want them to see. and what you pray for someone to see.

so what are you going to do now? cause you know more today than you knew before. what are you willing to release? how will you return?
-

and your effort (or lack thereof) is amusing to watch. gathering up all the beautifully contrived platitudes from an endless library of mankind’s average romantics and then stuffing them in like you’re stuffing a turkey. puzzle pieces that could fit together to form something strong & tangible if you just took the time to ask. you want what you’re getting, true, but it isn’t really enough, is it? not when you go home.
-

i’m not 100% sure what your game is yet, but i am watching. and i have a pretty good idea. i’ve seen these signatures before. a hunter. prey. a chase. seizure. this is where it gets sticky – because you like to play. you’re not in it for the kill. and yet not totally for the sport. a strange sort of bulimic hunger.
-

and why are you surprised at anything? your eyes are one-way mirrors. taking in what you want to see, not giving anything back, constantly wanting more. did you really think that would be sustainable? careless. you killed “the goose that laid the golden eggs” and you barely had a basketful.
-

and you two…gosh, where do i begin? well, some things stay the same. and yet, i’m still surprised by your greed every time. i guess i just can’t imagine how that can be such a noose of anxiety. it’s so contrary to my priorities.

on the other hand, i’m cautiously astonished by your generosity and my curiosity is piqued by your kindess. human nature cannot be denied…and yet it has so many facets, especially when cornered.

the complexities in our lives stretch over time & distance. interwoven stories creating a matrix that someone farther out there watches with some measure of pleasure.

we’re in alignment, for now. parallel lines moving closer. will they stop upon one another? for how long? for what purpose? are they made bolder for it? do they vanish?

someone may know.

“better put your kingdom up for sale…”

by JTW
©2011 JTW “jtwhitaker.com” All rights reserved.

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