she’s totally right – i do keep a lot of relationships and people at arm’s length (or farther). living four or five lives at a time kinda demands that sort of thing.
there’s your professional life, there’s your writing life, there’s your family life, your personal life and then there’s the stuff under so many layers that you yourself aren’t even completely aware of. and they’re all a bit of a strain & pull on each-other. and they don’t always play nice. thus our constant tightrope walk for balance, when we care.
don’t even think about it. it would be something akin to trying to ride on the back of a killer whale surging 50 mph through depths you can’t even imagine then dashing out of the water at unpredictable moments, soaring to inexplicable heights. plus there’s the splash & the spray, not to mention the teeth. definitely not for the faint of heart.
because sometimes life isn’t a curve, sometimes it’s a right angle. that’s what the last 12 months have been for me – one enormous elbow. and when you’re in the jolt it’s hard to see how, stretched out beyond the obvious, something greater is at play. our vision in the moment is at best, what, 20/20 or so? that’s not very far. but it starts to make sense doesn’t it? (the more we let it go.)
we can create in an instant and it’s all perfect. hint: i don’t need anyone to tell me that. there’s great danger in answering questions you haven’t been asked. and how far back have you looked, a few months? there was a lot more before that. the journey is a long one, so much longer than my time here.
sure, get under my skin. in fact, stay there awhile, cause i like it. and with every pull, every tug, my convictions grow stronger. pretty soon i’ll be dancing along that tightrope. after that, i’ll just leap over it. who really needs that wire anyway?
“i’m a saint…and don’t try to save me…”
©2011 JTW “jtwhitaker.com” All rights reserved.